Gloria in ex-simpsons deo!
by Fanficaddicttion
Summary: The night before christmas becomes a nightmare when a desperate stranger comes to the door asking for help and Sideshow Bob returns for Bart. Will the Simpsons get their merry christmas back or will this mean a dreadful new year?
1. Twas the nightmare before christmas

Gloria! In ex-Simpsons deo!

Chapter 1: T' was the nightmare before Christmas

"Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Simpson house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse." The Narrator said in front of a familiar yellow house. Just as he was about to continue Santa's little helper came to the window chewing on a drumstick. Homer sneaks up to him and grabs it but Santa's little helper starts growling and won't let go and the fight continues with Homer yelling and the dog growling.

"Ok, so there is stirring… I'm not the one messing up this rhyme. But I'll save my complaining for another time. Out here in Springfield the flowers were blossoming crissom while there was a break out a the Springfield Prison." The narrator continued. Sirens were going off and prisoners were running around the streets. One knocked the narrator out of the way. He fell in the snow and watched as the cops kept running around losing control of the situation. Snake ran up the street and then stopped looking around.

"Snake was so excited. He didn't know what to do so he went to the Kwik E Mart to rob poor Apu." Said the narrator

"Hey, Thanks." Said Snake to the narrator and then ran off down the street towards the Kwik E Mart.

In all the confusion a young woman of twenty three runs down the street and straight up the walk to the Simpsons house looking behind her nervously.

"Then out of the confusion came a new girl. She looked as of she just fell into this world. She ran up the walk looking around in suscpicion and went of the the house of the Simpsons. She knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked some more." Said the narrator "HEY! Isn't someone going to get the door!" he yelled to the Simpsons.

Marge opens the door. "Hello." Said Marge

"Hello, my name is Gloria. I've been running from house to house all night and everyone has refused to help me. Someone is trying to kill me…" said Gloria

"Kill you? Who's trying to kill you?"Marge asks

"Robert Terwillger. " said Gloria

"Sideshow Bob? I'm sorry I'm not sure if we could help you either." Said Marge

"Please! Please! I've been to every other house around." Said Gloria

Marge sighs "Well, I suppose you could stay for the night.", "As for you, we don't need you anymore."

" then give me my money and I'll go to Las Vegas and win so much more." Said the narrator

Marge gives the narrator his money and he leaves. "Come on in," said Marge "We're in the middle of dinner."

Marge leads Gloria into the dining room. She leaves the room and then comes back with an extra chair that she puts next to Bart. Then goes and gets an extra plate. She comes back into the room and sits down at her place next to Lisa.

" I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?" asked Bart looking at Gloria.

"I'm Gloria. It's nice to meet you, Bart." Said Gloria.

"I'm sorry, Gloria…" said Marge. "Everyone this is Gloria. Gloria this is my husband Homer. My daughter Lisa. Our baby Maggie. And of course you've met our son, Bart. And Of course, I'm Marge. "

"So, Gloria. What brings you here?" asked Homer

" It's my first week in town and someone is trying to kill me." Said Gloria

"You're first week you enjoying Springfeild?" asked Homer as if saying someone was trying to kill her was completely normal. The others stare at her in shock.

" Who's trying to kill you?" asked Bart

"Some guy named Robert Tellwinger." Gloria said

"Sideshow Bob? Mom! Mom, we can't let her stay here!" yelled Bart

"It's only for the night." Marge said

"Has everyone forgetten the lengths Bob has gone to try to kill me! How do we know she's not some trap!" said Bart

"I swear I'm not. " Gloria said

"Why is he trying to kill you?" asked Lisa

"Because I overheard him planning to kill someone. I assume it was Bart." Said Gloria

" If he thinks you're coming to warn Bart he'll get here even faster." Lisa pointed out.

It started to rain and lightning hit close by the house.

"I'm going to bed. " said Bart jumping out of his seat.

"Good idea." Said Gloria "I think I will too."

They open the door to Bart's room. They go in, close the door behind them and Sideshow Bob is hanging on the door. "Merry Christmas!" said Sideshow Bob jumping from the door and taking out a knife "I have a gift for the two of you." Said Sideshow bob and he menacingly inched forward.


	2. The Return of Sideshow Bob

Disclaimer: I do not own the Simpsons

Chapter 2: The Return of Sideshow Bob

Sideshow Bob inched closer and closer and covered the two children up in his menacing shadow. Gloria and Bart clung to each other in fear as the man got closer. Then before either child could utter a single scream. The sinister villain tied them, gagged them, and stuffed them into a giant black bag. Sideshow Bob leaped to Bart's open bedroom window, jumped down from the tree and ran down the street with the children gagged in the bag. Gloria and Bart tried their best to yell and scream to be heard but with all the commotion of the recent jail break no one could hear them.

It seemed like hours but they were finally plopped on the floor of a dirty cellar. And the bag was opened. Bart and Gloria were pulled out, untied, and ungagged but the person who did it wasn't Bob it was a black haired woman in Italian clothing. The woman seemed nice and caring. Gloria tried to question why this woman seemed to be helping them but before she could the door from above them creaked open and footsteps came closer and closer. Sideshow Bob came out of the shadows. "So here we are again. " said Bob

"And just like every time. Lisa will catch on and the cops will be here to take you and your no good family away." Said Bart.

" The imbecile police are too worried about the break out to worry about anything I'd do." Sais Bob "So, even if Lisa does catch on there isn't anything that can be done."

"I understand why you took him but why me?" asked Gloria.

"You know too much. Plus, I knew you'd try to warn Bart and once you did I'd be able to get rid of this schalywag once and for all." Said Sideshow Bob menacingly

"Why kill the boy? He's only 10. What did he ever do to you?" asked Gloria.

"He stopped me from fulfilling my destiny." Said Sideshow Bob.

"You aren't destined to have Krusty's show. You aren't half the clown he is!" yelled Bart.

Sideshow Bob got right into Bart's face "I wasted 12 years working for that hack. I'm 50 times the performer he is! The children loved me. They loved me more than that poor excuse for a jewish clown! But you had to come in and ruin everything. And then when I found a woman I could steal money from so I could make a happy life for myself you ruined that too."

"She was my aunt and you were going to kill her." Said Bart

"As if you haven't imagined killing her yourself! Everyone in town has thought about it even her twin sister!" Sideshow Bob pointed out.

"Touche," said Bart "Still killing me and on Christmas Eve . I mean it's Christmas Eve. The worst thing I did on Christmas was accidently set the tree and the presents on fire, bury the melted mess in the snow, and then tell everyone that we were robbed."

Gloria looks at Bart in shock. " You did what?"

"I went downstairs to open my presents early. I got the fire truck I wanted. I was playing with it and the hose attached to it accidently went off setting the outlet on fire which melted the tree and all the presents. I panicked so I went outside and hid the evidence in the snow. When my family came towards I wasn't sure what to tell them so I told them that we were robbed. " said Bart

"O, Bart…" Gloria started crying and went over to hug him.

"Enough, sentimentality!" yelled Sideshow Bob

"You are a heartless monster!" yelled Gloria

" I don't care what you think. It's time to get down to business." Said Sideshow Bob

The black haired woman, Francesa, looked a Bob " What do you have planned for them, Roberto?"

"I'm going to gut them with this knife!" said Bob

"Ooo, that sounds so sexy . How about afterward you and I…" said Francesa who whispers in his ear.

"I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate, my dear." Said Sideshow Bob

"Bob! Francesa! Dinner!" a male voice came from upstairs.

"I'll deal with you children after dinner!" said Sideshow Bob

"Roberto, I have an idea." Said Francesa

"What is it, love?" asked Sideshow Bob

" It's getting late. Why don't we wait and kill them tomorrow. The anxiousness will make it even more cruel and it would be a nice family Christmas activity for Gino. " said Francesa

"That's inspired, Francesa! Very well. Let's go up to dinner." Said Sideshow Bob

Francesa and Bob walked back up the stairs. Bob put his knife away as they walked.

Gloria started pacing the room "We have to figure out how to get out of here. These people are crazy."

" Bob's tried to kill me 13 times…. Don't you think I know that by now?" asked Bart a little irritated. "Why did you have to choose my house to hide out in? Why?"

"How was I supposed to know that he'd follow me?" asked Gloria though deep down she guessed that she had thought about it for a few seconds.

"Well, because of your stupid ignorance we're going to die!" yelled Bart

"He was planning on killing you anyway. I'm sure he would have still captured you even if I wasn't there! " yelled Gloria.

"No he wouldn't've!" yelled Bart

"Yes he would've!" yelled Gloria

"No he wouldn't've!" yelled Bart

They went back and forth arguing with " wouldn't've"s and "would've"s for a least another half hour and then both being very stubborn went to separate corners of the cellar and refused to talk to each other. After a few hours went by Gloria got up and walked up the creaky stairs to the cellar door. She used a bobbi pin to unlock the door. She gingerly opened the door. She looked cautiously around and noted in which direction the kitchen was. She couldn't help but notice how lavish the house was. Bob was rich for a criminal. Or she assumed that the place was stolen. It must have been because it was a very upscale Victorian place with wooden floors and oriental carpets. She then tip toed into the kitchen which was black and white tile with marble counter tops, it seemed not to really fit the hallway she had just come from it almost felt like she was in another house. On a marble table was a plate with a single cookie on it. She got two glasses and poured milk into them. She figured that Bart would be ok with splitting and if not she'd gladly let him have the whole cookie after all she did get him into this mess. She put away the milk and then slowly walked back to the cellar door. She opened the door and quickly closed it behind her. She then walked down the creaky stairs. When she reached the bottom she walked over to Bart.

"I thought you might hungry. This was all the Terwillgers had upstairs." Said Gloria offering him the cookie "Want to split it?"

"It's a rather small cookie." Bart pointed out

"Then take the entire thing. I'm fine with just milk." Said Gloria handing him the plate.

Bart took a bite of the cookie and enjoyed it so much he swallowed the entire thing and then shoveled down his milk. Just as he emptied the glass his body stiffened and he dropped the glass and fell over.

"O my god! O my god! Bart! Bart!" yelled Gloria running over to him. He tried to feel for a pulse but nothing.

"BART! BART!" yelled another voice that didn't belong to her. Gloria looked up at the cellar window and saw Lisa in hysterics.


	3. the Escape

Chapter 3: The Escape

Gloria looked up at the window and the horrified look on Lisa's face. She noticed a ladder in the corner and went up to the window. Gloria struggled to get the window open she managed to open it enough so that Lisa could squeeze through. "I'm so sorry. " was all Gloria could think to say as she carried Lisa down the ladder. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't gone to your house for help none of this would have happened. If I hadn't moved to Springfield none of this would have happened."

Lisa looks at Gloria "You didn't kill him, Sideshow Bob did. He's been trying to kill Bart for a long time. This would have happened whether or not you had been here."

" I told Bart that before he was poisoned but somehow that answer just isn't good enough." Said Gloria. "I wish I never overheard the plan and never came to Springfield."

"How did it happen?" asked Lisa

"Well, I just graduated from college with a teaching degree. After a lot of job searching I found the only place hiring right now was here in Springfield. I've only been here for a week trying to get my affairs in order and moving to 41 Sycamore. Anyway, I was at Moe's on a date. It was such a beautiful night I decided to take the long way home. I passed by this dark alley where I overheard a man talking on his cell phone. He seemed to be going over a check list with the person on the other end. A bag check, an extra change of clothes check, six long very sharp knives check, rope check, gags check… I thought it was curious so I stopped and listened… he continued to talk about how he would go to the Simpsons at around 8, sneak into Bart's room, and then when Bart came in after dinner he would grab him and put him in the bag. Then before the end of the night get rid of him once and for all. I gasped , naturally. Of course, Sideshow Bob saw me… started asking who I was and why I was eavesdropping on his private conversation. I ran as fast as I could. Luckily, there was a prison break and I lost him in the crowd of prisoners and cops. I went to house after house trying to get help but once they heard who was after me everyone would slam the door in my face except your mom. She's a good woman. Maybe too good. She should have slammed it in my face like everyone else. I mean if I hadn't been here I wouldn't have given Bart that cookie. How stupid am I that I didn't think a cookie by itself was a sign of trouble?" asked Gloria tears welling in her eyes

Lisa put a comforting hand on Gloria's shoulder "It could have happened to anyone and knowing Bart he would have found the cookie and eaten it anyway. What I don't understand is why he poisoned Bart if he bought knives to kill him with." Said Lisa

"Maybe six knives was code for some type of poison. I mean he was on a cell phone; the government checks up on phone calls." Said Gloria "The only thing to do now is give him a proper burial but first I think we have to get out of here."

Suddenly Gloria took Bart and grabbed onto Lisa's hand then she walked up the cellar stairs. Gloria opened the door and then she and Lisa slowly walked down the hall into the living room area. The room was painted white and the wooden floor was draped with a blue oriental carpet. They quietly walked on the carpet. When they got to the door she unlocked it with her bobbi pin then the three of them went out into the snow and to a car that was parked out in front of the house the luckily had keys in it. "Our best chance is to get as far from Springfield as possible. We may have to change our names so try to think of a new one. Ok, Lisa?" said Gloria taking authority.

"My family has tried that. It didn't work. He still found us." Said Lisa.

"Where did you go?" asked Gloria

" Terror Lake." Said Lisa

" Damn… I was going to take us there. Um, I know we'll go to Cape Feare." Said Gloria starting the car.

Lisa nods.

"Try to get some sleep." Gloria said, "I'll get us out of this."

Lisa starts to nod off as Gloria drives. As Gloria drives she keeps looking behind her to see if anyone is coming. Sign after sign goes up telling her where she is after more signs than Gloria could count she was in Cape Feare. She drives to a random house that has it's lights off. She goes to Lisa's side of the car and picks her in her arms. She carries Lisa to the door and uses her bobbi pin to unlock the door making sure not to drop Lisa. She then turns on the lights and takes Lisa up stairs and into the nearest bedroom laying her gently on the bed. Then Gloria went back down stairs. She went into the kitchen and started looking through cupboards. She noted that for an empty house it was surprisingly stocked. Gloria made herself some tea and sat down. She couldn't sleep. She was must too anxious. Gloria turns on the radio "I'll be home for Christmas" comes on she starts to sing "I'll be home for Christmas. You can count on me. I'll be home for Christmas. If only in my dreams."

Meanwhile back in Springfield at the Simpson house Marge goes in to check on Bart. She opens the door and goes over to the bed and sees it empty. "Bart!" then she rushes to Lisa's room and notices her bed is empty as well. She then quickly looks in on Maggie and gives a sigh of relief but then runs back into her bedroom. "Homer! Homer!" Homer half wakes up. "Homer, I went to check in on Bart and Lisa… they're missing."

"O..missing… that's nice." Said Homer falling back asleep then he sits up right "What did you say?"

"Bart and Lisa are missing. Gloria isn't here either…. I think she took them." Said Marge

"Don't worry, Marge we'll get the kids back. " said Homer

Marge and Homer rush out the door and drive to the prison/ police station.

When they get there Marge and Homer go into Chief Wiggums office and wait. Manwhile, The cops are putting all the prisoners back in their cells. "That's right, everyone in!" said Chief Wiggum " And just for running away no "It's a Wonderful Life' tomorrow morning!"

Lou comes up to Wiggum. "Sir, Mr and Mrs. Simpson are in your office waiting to speak to you."

"I'll be right there, Lou." Said Chief Wiggum.

Chief Wiggum waddles to his office and sits at his desk "Hello, Mr and Mrs. Simpson. What's the trouble this year? Get robbed again?" asked Wiggum.

"No, I went to check on my children Bart and Lisa and they were gone. " said Marge

"So, you think they were kidnapped?" asked Wiggum

"Yes." Said Marge

"Really? Are you sure they didn't run away , fall down a well, or maybe this is a hoax like the time your family was robbed." Said Wiggum.

"I can understand why you think that my family doesmn't have the best record in town in fact we are the last family you should consider helping but… I can't remember where I was going with that." Said Homer

Marge stands up "What my husband is trying to say is that our children are in trouble and if you don't help find them then you aren't doing your job! Now, get out there and find my children!" yelled Marge

"Mrs. Simpson, It's Christmas Eve it's late most of my officers have gone home. I was heading there myself whatever has happened to your children will have to wait until the 26th. " said Chief Wiggum

Marge gets right up in Chief Wiggum's face " They could be dead by then! Someone came to our a house a girl who said Sideshow Bob was after her and that he was planning to kill my Bart. Now, go out and do something!" yelled Marge

"All right, All right but as I told you it's late and most of my men have gone home. My wife is going to kill me and so are my men but we'll search first thing in the morning." Said Chief Wiggum "Right now, I suggest you and your husband go home and get some sleep."

Mr. and Mrs. Simpson leave the station.

When they get home Marge goes upstairs and Homer follows. Both get dressed without saying a word They get into bed. Suddenly Marge leans on Homer and starts to cry. Homer puts his arm around her and tries to assure her that everything would be ok. Marge doesn't stop crying until the sun comes up over the horizon signaling the start of Christmas day. Marge and Homer get out of bed. Marge gets up and gets dressed and then goes and gets breakfast ready. She moves in a robotic fashion. Homer enters the kitchen as she puts breakfast on the table. "Good morning, Honey." Said Homer.

"Good morning." Said Marge with no emotion

Suddenly, carolers start to sing outside the window and Marge starts to cry again.

"We'll find them. They're fine. I know they are…." Said Homer who starts to cry himself.

Back in Cape Feare, Lisa wakes up in a strange bedroom and walks down strange stairs. She walks into a plain wooden kitchen she had never seen before and sees Gloria sleeping at the table. Lisa slowly goes over and wakes her up "Good morning, Lisa. Is it morning already?" she asked

"Yea, Merry Christmas." Said Lisa

" Merry Christmas. Though, I'm not sure how merry it is for either of us. But if we're lucky it won't get any worse." Said Gloria

"So, what are we going to do?" asked Lisa

" How about some breakfast?" asked Gloria


	4. Merry Christmas

Chapter 4- Merry Christmas

Gloria found some pancake batter and chocolate chips in the cupboard. She then took out a frying pan and started to make chocolate chip pancakes. It was eerie that this house had everything they would need. It was almost as if someone had been expecting them. "After breakfast we could watch some Christmas Specials. I saw DVDs of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Mr. Magoo's a Christmas Carol, Jack Frost, Dr. Suess's how the Grinch stole Christmas (with Jim Carrey), and Frosty the Snowman in the other room. What do you say turn this holiday around with a Christmas Special/ movie marathon?" asked Gloria

" Ok…" said Lisa as she sighed

"You don't seem very enthusiastic about it. Come on, cheer up. It's Christmas." Said Gloria putting the pancakes onto a plate and taking them over to the table. Then she took out plates and silverware for both her and Lisa.

"I love those movies it's just …I wish my parents were here," Said Lisa.

"I know…This isn't the way either one of us wanted to spend the holidays, stuck in a strange house with a family of attempted murders after us. " said Gloria "But we need to just make the best of it. OK?" asked Gloria.

Lisa nods and slowly starts to eat her pancakes ;Gloria starts to eat hers as well. The only sound is the group of carolers outside singing "Angels we have heard on high". When they are done they go over to the couch and put on "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer". The movie marathon goes on and on but, neither Lisa nor Gloria was really into the movies they had been watching. Even Mr. Magoo's a Christmas Carol, which was always Gloria's favorite, wasn't moving her in the same way. As that one ends Gloria goes to get some hot cocoa for herself and Lisa; when she gets into the kitchen she hears the carolers at the back door. She thinks it's a little odd because she could have sworn that carolers had been by that morning. It was a small town how many group of carolers could there possibly be? Then there was a knock on the door. Gloria gets concerned because the last group of carolers just passed by thinking the place was abandoned… it was clearly supposed to be. Gloria ignores the knocking and goes back to making cocoa. The knocking keeps persisting and she could hear the singers belting the '12 days of Christmas 'through the door, clearly trying to get Gloria's attention . After about ten minutes the cocoa was done and although, the knocking and singing keeps going on Gloria walks into the living room and hands a cup to Lisa as if she doesn't hear anything. Lisa decides to do the same as she puts the cup down and goes to pop in the next DVD. Then Lisa sits down and is about to take a sip of the cocoa when the back door bursts open revealing the Terwillger family. Gloria and Lisa turn around and see them.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! SIDESHOW BOB!" Gloria and Lisa yell.

"So glad I can still strike fear into my victims." Said Sideshow Bob.

"What about the rest of us… we're just as intimidating as you!" complained Cecil.

"Don't look at me. They're the hapless victims complain to them. " said Sideshow Bob.

"Well?" Cecil demands

"Sorry…." Lisa and Gloria say together "AHHHHHHH! THE TERWILLGERS!"

"Thank you. We appreciate that." Said Dr. Robert Terwillger.

The family looms closer and closer to Gloria and Lisa. Gloria pushes Lisa behind her as they corner the two girls.

"Did you really think you could just sneak out of the house and we wouldn't notice?" asked Sideshow Bob.

"Of course I thought you would notice. I was up half the night waiting." Said Gloria.

" Then coming here, to the hideout, wasn't very smart was it?" asked Sideshow Bob

"I never meant to come here. I panicked. " said Gloria

"You were worried about what would happen when we found out that you ruined the family's Christmas plans?" asks Dame Underdunk

"No, that wasn't the problem. I always intended to deviate from the original plan. I had to show this family I was worth something because apparently going to college, graduating with a teaching degree, and even getting a job as a teacher isn't good enough for the Terwillger family. O, no, you have to be embezzle and attempt murder! Well, if murder was the only way to get through to this family than murder what I had to do. So, I murdered Bart Simpson without your permission. Then this little girl saw what happened. She trusted me so I took her here , away from anyone or anything, so I could silence her for good. " said Gloria " Until you came in and ruined everything! "

Lisa looks from Gloria to the Terwillgers in shock suddenly putting the pieces if the puzzle together "You… you're one of them! Bart was right you were sent to my house as part of a trap!"

Cecil looks at Lisa " I'll take it you two weren't formally acquainted?"

"Couldn't tell her my last name. She wouldn't trust me if I had." Said Gloria

"Allow me," said Cecil " Lisa Simpson… my daughter Gloria Ivy Terwillger. "

Lisa and Gloria shake hands

"Now, I believe we have a problem. We admire the fact that you found the courage to show us that you can scheme a murder and pull off that murder. However, you betrayed a family member in order to execute the plan. We don't betray each other in this family. So do we let this go?" asked Dame Underdunk "Bob, it's you she betrayed what do you want to do with her?"

"I like the Italian philosophy that you don't go against family unless they go against you. I planned that we have a family murder. I don't see why we can't have one. We'll just have different victims." Said Sideshow Bob

The family go closer and closer to Gloria and Lisa holding out their knives. They are about to raise them when the doors burst open and Chief Wiggum and the cops from both Springfield and Cape Feare rush in, followed by Homer and Marge carrying Maggie.

"Hold it right there! You are all under arrest for the kidnapping of Bart and Lisa Simpson." Said Chief Wiggum

The cops start to hand cuff the Terwillger family. Gloria looked at her family being put in hand cuffs and then looked at little Gino and the sad look on his face.

"You might be interested to know that Bart is dead. He's in my car. I killed him and then brought him and Lisa up here where I just attempted to murder her too!" said Gloria

"OK, cuff her, boys!" Chief Wiggum says then the officers hand cuff her and take all the Terwillgers away.

Lisa runs over and hugs her parents. "I love you guys. Merry Christmas!"

"We love you too, Lisa. Merry Christmas!" said Homer and Marge together.

The Simpsons open Gloria's car and get out Bart's body. They bury it in the backyard of the shack. Then they get in the car and start to sing along to Christmas carols on the radio.

Later at a cell in Springfield prison. Gloria is teaching Gino "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" when her father Cecil came over. She stops at the middle of the song and looks up at him

"What are you doing?" Cecil asks

"I'm teaching Gino a classic Christmas song." Said Gloria

"I mean what are you doing here in prison. You could have gotten off scot-free the police had no idea you murdered Bart Simpson. They would have just blamed Bob for his disappearance. " said Cecil

"I wasn't going to but I shouldn't have betrayed uncle Bob to prove myself and it's Christmas. It's really a time to be with my family." Said Gloria

"Even after we tried to murder you?" asked Cecil

"It's a risk you take in a family of criminals. I love you, Dad. Merry Christmas." Said Gloria hugging Cecil

"God Bless us!" said Dr. Terwillger

"God Bless us, everyone!" said Gino

The narrator pops his head into the barred cell window "And as our story ends with a murderous family locked up tight. It's time to say Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."

The End


End file.
